It's been an amazing week. The chemo effects have basically worn off and the baby is out where I can adore her instead of inside making it hard to move. It's such a joyful, calm, get-to-pretend-it's-all-normal moment in the midst of everything and I am soaking it up. I'm also soaking her up -- she's so petite and perfect! Our first survivor in this cancer journey and an obvious miracle in the midst of a crazy year.
Throughout her birth and our stay in the hospital I received a similar compliment from several different people. They would say something like: "when we first met, you were so vibrant that I could hardly believe you were going through cancer" or "you just look so bright and healthy" or "you just seem so ALIVE." It all felt like the same message to me: good job being positive and full of life when your obviously in a cancer battle.
And I love it -- it is quickly becoming one of the best compliments I've ever recieved in my life. So much better than "amazing outfit" or "your hair is gorgeous like that" (though I'll never complain about receiving those too) because it goes so much deeper. It goes to the heart of who I am and the biggest work I am trying to accomplish right now. It not only recognizes what I've done but inspires me to keep going and keep positive. I never thought I'd enjoy being stripped so bare (and it definitely took some getting use to) but I'm growing to love it because people see so deep into my story so immediately. We were driving home and the thought came, "it's great that right now all my body has to do to be absolutely amazing is to be alive."
Then I realized that should be true for everyone all the time. So go enjoy your amazing, alive body and if you need me I'll be snuggling a baby.