And that is why I am feeling content this evening. In one of the ways that is hardest for me and right at the moment I about ran away, I entered the arena today. Whew. Thanks for listening.
Sarah
I sang in church today. Like, by myself in front of everyone not just sitting in the pew singing along. Depending on who you are this may not seem like a big deal, but for me with the anxiety issues it was. It meant I had to think it would be ok for normal voiced me to perform in a ward (congregation) rife with professional vocalist. It meant that I had to walk up to the lady in charge of organizing musical numbers and stutteringly offer to perform if she "needed me at all" instead of never even mentioning I like to sing and then feeling picked on because I never got asked to perform. Then it meant a little over a week of procrastination and panic attacks over the thought of performing. All this cumulating in me deciding last night that I "hadn't put enough effort in" (aka my best wasn't good enough) and R should just perform a piano number instead of us doing the variation of the hymn we had created together. Lastly it meant me waking up this morning deciding to "just run through it once and see" and realizing how much of my heart and belief I had put into our arrangement. It meant me realizing that I wanted to be the one to sing it-- me with my soft voice in my imperfect way, even if I had to reach for the high notes.
And that is why I am feeling content this evening. In one of the ways that is hardest for me and right at the moment I about ran away, I entered the arena today. Whew. Thanks for listening. Sarah
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AuthorTwo women trying to be vulnerable. We are learning that the imperfections of life are what make it wonderful and real. Here we share our thoughts, achievements, failures and anything else that comes to mind in the hopes that our honesty might help lift another. Categories
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May 2016
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