When I showed it to R he said it was sad, but I liked the underlying message: if we are busy hiding who we are we will miss out on opportunities to love and be loved. In trying to protect ourselves we might be burying the thing that could help us connect. I've had this in my head for over a week now.
Then today we had a grocery drop off scheduled (we are a test area for Walmart ToGo and decided to try it out -- fabulous p.s.). We live in a secure building and our call button at the entry doesn't work so we were worried about missing the delivery man. I decided to talk with the nice man who has been our substitute manager lately (we're between building mangers apparently). Headed the troop downstairs for our family walk and "uh oh, there is a stranger behind the desk. A new sub manager? a back-up? He doesn't look so friendly." And I walk on by.
We are coming back from our walk: I decide he reminds me of a manager from another rental who yelled at me once and I made the right choice to not approach him.
Made it through lunch. The kids are down for nap and R is resting too. I want to rest and ice my hands (I have some crazy carpal tunnel/tendinitis issues currently). What if I miss the order? K, this is ridiculous I'm going to go talk to that man. And even on the way down I find my self thinking, "should I not mention that I used Walmart? Because some people are pretty against Walmart. Maybe if I explain that my husband is a student and I haven't been able to work..."
And what happens? The manager sub is so kind and super smiley. He'd love to help out. He has seven grand kids himself. His wife uses a grocery drop-off.
I didn't even have to justify our Walmart choice;) and I feel like I have a new friend.
so why didn't I just talk to him the first time? I understand that being vulnerable has its risks. I suppose sometimes I will end up hurt or judged when I put myself out there. But isn't it worse to cause myself hurt/stress because I was afraid to talk to a very nice man? I think so. I don't know if it works the same for everybody, but so far this vulnerability thing is working out great for me.